right or wrong

6 months, other words to describe, the half year, i'm living here, really not easy.
Only way I can do is, every single day call mommy as like i'm just beside her.
Distances, really hard to be especially someone you love are far away from you.
I'm blessing mommy will always stay healthy as she is being now.

Living with a new family members, I'm learning to tolerate and sincerely.
Whatever happen it is, I need to be more generous than others do.
Unfortunately, it feels like there's no one could understand with you.
i can't story my sadness to mum or my brothers. they will be so worry me.
I learn to keep things in my heart, lesser share with others even my closest person.

Relationship, really a ridiculous object.
Sometimes it is just overhead to yourself until we breathe so hard.
Couples, is important to be tolerate. This is what i hope he need to be always.
Everything, seems like changed after I made decision.
I doesn't know is that right or wrong. But I just hate myself being so fragile.
I love the previous of him. Honestly.
But I can't change him anymore after we are here.
I'm lucky because the commitments remain, but the Him, is out of my expectations.
His motivations, his romances, getting lesser and lesser.

A year before, i'm so looking forward to our marriage.
A year after, i'm getting nervous and wonder of everything include him.
Sometimes i really angry about him. He makes me lost a good offer from Penang.
And now, i'm seeking a job again. It's really makes my parents worry. I know.
I need to get a job quickly otherwise i'm suffer of others matter again.

Everything, it's so headache to me. I always need someones that I can talk to.
I realized it is better i treat myself good, only myself know appreciations.
Sometimes, even your loves one, they never be appreciate of myself.

xoxo,

Your truly Jess.